From The Immortal Gazette Studio ⚜️
Forgotten Tales, Twisted Truths & Legends told by Alice, Rumple, and their ever-growing cast of troublemakers.
The Immortal Gazette Presents: Orpheus & Eurydice | Love, Death, and Poor Decision Making
The Immortal Gazette Studio was in rare form. Meaning: it was barely functioning as a workplace, and yet somehow, content was still being produced.
Rumplestiltskin sat at the desk, already rubbing his temples. Thorn leaned back in his chair, exuding the kind of arrogance only a chaos god could manage. Alice, perched elegantly beside him, sipped her ever-present tea, watching them both like a cat toying with its prey.
Rumple sighed. “Today’s story is about Orpheus and Eurydice, a tragic love story from ancient Greece.”
Thorn grinned. “Ah, yes. The man who lost his wife twice. Poor idiot.”
Alice shot him a sharp look. “Excuse me? Orpheus risked everything to save the woman he loved. That’s romance, Thorn.”
Thorn smirked. “Oh, is it? Because from where I’m sitting, it sounds like he got a perfectly good deal—and then ruined it because he couldn’t follow one simple rule.”
Rumple exhaled heavily. “Let me tell the story first before you two start flirting—”
Alice and Thorn both turned to glare at him.
“We are not flirting,” Alice said.
“I have standards, Rumple,” Thorn added.
Rumple threw up his hands. “Right. Anyway. Orpheus was a legendary musician, and when his wife, Eurydice, died—”
Thorn cut in, grinning. “Bitten by a snake, wasn’t she? Tragic.”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Yes, Thorn. Because stepping on a snake is definitely a crime worthy of death.”
Rumple powered through as if he hadn’t heard them. “Orpheus was so heartbroken that he traveled to the Underworld to get her back. His music was so powerful, it moved even Hades and Persephone, who agreed to let Eurydice leave—on one condition: He couldn’t look back at her until they were both out of the Underworld.”
Thorn leaned in, a wicked grin forming. “And guess what he did?”
Alice frowned. “He was afraid she wasn’t there, Thorn. He was desperate.”
Thorn tilted his head. “Or he was impatient.”
Alice narrowed her eyes. “Or maybe it was love.”
Thorn’s smirk deepened. “Or maybe he was just a fool.”
Rumple closed the book with a loud snap. “And that’s the end of the story. She vanished, he lost her forever, blah blah blah, and we all learn a very important lesson about listening to the gods.”
Thorn grinned. “I think the real lesson is: Don’t be an idiot.”
Alice huffed. “You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never loved anyone enough to risk everything for them.”
Thorn raised a brow, his smirk shifting into something slower, sharper. He leaned just a little closer. “And how do you know that, darling?”
Alice’s breath hitched—just barely—but before she could say anything, Rumple slammed his hands on the desk.
“Oh, for the love of all things immortal—would you two just kiss already so I can get a single moment of peace!?”
Silence.
Alice and Thorn both turned to stare at him.
Rumple groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “I hate this job.”
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